Should I validate my teen daughters’ concerns, or support their father as a co-parent? | Leading questions

This is a common parenting dilemma, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith. Find a way to hear your daughters without turning this into a proxy-fight

Is it more important to validate and empathise with my teens about their difficult relationship with their dad, stepmum and stepbrother; or support him as a co-parent, even though I can see the damage it is doing? I have two teenage daughters, 14 and 16, who have a fractious relationship with their dad and his family. He approaches parenting in an authoritarian way and I can see the negative impact this has on our daughters’ self-esteem and self worth.

They are delightful young people and I am very proud of how thoughtful, intelligent and individual they are – the horror stories of parenting teens are not something that I have to worry about and I have an open, respectful relationship with them. Because of this, they often come to me, together and separately, about the problems they have with their dad, stepmum and stepbrother.

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