‘Say I want to lose weight. Will they cheer me on – or bring me a cupcake?’ The curse of the frenemy

At home or at work, the most toxic relationships are the ones where we are treated with both kindness and cruelty. So why do we get hooked on them – and how can we take back control?

I recently had a discomfiting encounter at the theatre when, rushing for drinks during the interval, I bumped into a woman whom I knew from work years ago. She had been a compelling mix of charisma, random acts of kindness and glib cruelty. Now here she was again. “Hi,” she said, beaming. “How are you?” Like a fool, I rushed to tell her everything I had been doing.

The woman interrupted my monologue. “That’s great. I’m so happy to hear you’ve finally sorted your life out.” And off she went, leaving me speechless. I tossed and turned that night, seething and pondering what she had meant. She didn’t know anything about my life, so why had she said that?

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from The Guardian https://ift.tt/EmxYw6X

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